The Agents of Kaos, as part of our never-ending mission to spread chaos and confusion wherever we go, have taken on our most daring plot yet. We will be kidnapping multiple beloved infosec twitter personalities and whisking them off to an undisclosed, highly secure, hidden, secret location. So secret, in fact, that even they won’t know where they are. We will hold them until the ransom is paid, which will be used to fund our chaotic work and future hooliganism, and if there’s anything leftover- buy a jet ski.

We will not harm your friends. They will be well-fed and safe. However, until they’re released you will not see them around your precious little twitter. It begins.