You’ve done it. Your friends are free. Congratulations. We are nothing if not fair, and now your friends are free to go. But how will they get home?
Ah! It appears the Agents of Kaos have one last trick up our sleeves. Although they are free to go, they are not home yet. See what we did there? How very chaotic of us!
If you want your friends to get home safely and comfortably, perhaps you would be willing to contribute to their airfare fund. After all, home is where the heart is and their heart wants to get home.
For a mere $250, we can put your friends in Kennels and ship them home in the cargo section. It might or might not be legal, we’re not lawyers, but it’s certainly not very comfortable. They would get home, but perhaps we could do better than that.
With $500, we can upgrade their tickets to give them actual seats. The seats aren’t bad, they’re mostly cushioned and you can fit between the armrests if you fold your body just right. It would do.
But these individuals have made incredible contributions to the community, and we chaotically and humbly suggest that perhaps they should be upgraded to First Class. We found a coupon code online and can get them very nice seats for just $750. A true bargain.
For $1,000, they can ride in first class and have a drink of their choosing at the airport bar before takeoff. Whether apple juice or Rum, they could surely use a drink as well.
Every dollar raised over $1000 will go towards amenities did they can enjoy on the flight, such as those fancy neck pillows or headphones on the plane.